A couple of
hours into a smoke of pot
A couple of
hours into a smoke of pot it starts to feed back & I sound like a bitch, a
reedy cheap oboe whining away about this & that, do I ever shut up? The
price I have to pay for hitting some cunts is so far 13 years of psych meds &
indefinite & the compulsory adoption of self consciousness & self
recrimination. Why do you think I drink so much? Anyone would struggle to be
more introspective than me. That’s why I write, as a way of hitting back,
saying I resist this prison sentence. A moment’s reprieve. & so I must
constantly account for myself. This is a sign of the times, that we must sound
ironic & surrender our primal being to ‘theory’. & so I talk
incessantly like post graduates do, in our collared shirts & our hair cuts.
Now I was reading the other day a mockery of the white adventurer as they’re
called or as I call em: people. I’ve always clicked with people from other
cultures, & found the Anglo-Celtic Australian foreign. I was born with a
different charter. & whatever happened to ‘callings’ & prophecies. &
mysticism & ‘voodoo’? Must I, if I wanna write, be a maidservant &
research quantitative data & keep to ‘my own’? Fuck that I say. I wanna
talk less & pause for self consciousness less. I don’t go along with
literary theory. I find many writers hideously sedentary & suppressed. I’m
a mad fucker. But I’m not cruel or on a power trip. I wanna fall in love again.
In fact I think I already am. & she’s beautiful & mysterious & miles
from reality. But I drive her mad, coz I talk so fuckin much & reveal too
much.
Published
& Copyright Malachi Doyle 2025.
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