Running
for the pain
(after Jen
Cloher)
Since the separation
& coming to settlement, I’ve been running for the pain
Sending
myself on the road to oblivion
Unconsciously
believing that if I killed myself with booze, I’d prove my faithfulness, my
love
When your
lodestar
Changes from
something intimate
To something
formal
Your reality
is radically altered
My love, my
muse, my best friend, my partner, my twin
Now vanished
Of course my
life griefs are many
& I’ve
taken a lot of blows
But this is
the biggest
Coz when I
had love, I could better deal with those other blows
Who knows
how things will turn out for me?
No one knows
in fact
But I’m
trying at last
Like Peter
Tosh sings
“To pick
myself up, dust myself off & start all over again”
Published & Copyright Malachi Doyle 2024.
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