On Psychosis

 On Psychosis

 

To bang on about one’s mental health issues

Could be potentially narcissistic I guess

Unless it might mean also something to other survivors

& perhaps shed an interesting light

On the minds of those who aren’t

With special regards to knowing & it’s twin: delusion.

 

The particular aspect I have never really gotten over

Was the completely humiliating & core shaking revelation

That during my psychosis my perception of things

Was 180 degrees arse frontwards on certain ‘certainties.’

 

It is very hard when one has been willing to die for them

Note I say die & not kill

Because the latter thought never occurred to me

My focus during my psychosis & perhaps its dominant theme

Was the immense suffering in the world

With which I became existentially overwhelmed

By my sole obsessive desire to bring about an easing of suffering.

I was in no way malicious, quite the opposite

Love for all life was driving me.

 

During my psychosis

I was operating in a different strata of reality

However, many of my understandings were penetrating

Incompatible as they were with the mechanical, commercial doings of our societies

I became reductionist in scope

Big Picture philosophy lost track of the intimate dealings that complicate the binary

I became structural ad absurdum

& lost the significance & sanctity of subtleties

One might call it the light of not being able to see the light

Small dissonances were amplified for me

I was living on a Romantic stage & my role exaggerated.

What I had to learn was the importance of collaborative ventures

The importance of relationality

& the Post-Copernican fact that I am not at the centre of the Universe.

 

Desperation drives one to such positions

Whether it is desperation for water, food, shelter, companionship, security, safety

Desperation drives us mad

Some people weep disconsolately, some seek symbolic retribution

But desperation drives us mad

It is for this reason that basic needs must be ensured to all people

Else desperation will drive desperate people to madness

& a world governed by madness is apocalyptic.

 

 

 

Published & Copyright Malachi Doyle 2023.