Premature Epitaph no.2626r262r62r623r2r97237r2378r7239r237r2000….
(*written after watching the Colin McCahon documentary: I Am)
In my short artistic career over my short particular 51 years on the planet, I have produced maybe one or two pieces that may be of interest to others. The question is whether to stop now – lest the possible diminishing of my powers as I age sully those previous, dare I say ‘useful’, achievements? (note: I am not a Utilitarian, but WAS trained in Sociology and social functions are kind of imbedded, even if I rise against it as often in my thinkings). I hope it’s relatively clear by now what I stand for artistically/philosophically. My fear is if I were to drift towards madness in my later years, that these later works might darken and unfairly define my vision. Let me spell this out before I become infirm: I am NOT a misanthropist. I like people. Whether they’re good bad or otherwise is beside the point. But if I later drift intellectually towards the ‘apocalyptic’ as I head towards my own personal ending, you may choose to listen -- but when death comes, know that that moment will be arbitrary not a logical climax to something, an idea or any such....
One will never know what may have come next. Or what may have not. Or what would have motivated any particular utterance at any point in my life. My life as an artist will be balanced between the manifest and the latent, the revealed and the unpresented. In essence a person is unknowable, and her life will not follow the classic narrative structure. There is no big conclusion or necessary progression to be drawn, unless affectively. Else you’re telling stories. Documentaries love to finish with these and stories are good fun sure. They may even provide a certain ‘use’ or at least point of interest for others. But if you find an earlier work more to your liking I’m completely ok with that.
I’m not a bad bloke if viewed
compassionately. I really hope I continue that way. But one never knows
completely. As Tom Petty once stated “ANYTHING is possible.”
©Malachi Doyle 2022.
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