On My Own Again
(Longer Poem Preamble)
1.
The mechanical relic
Has a sense of romanticism
Despite what we know about
The Industrial Age –
People’s minds are strange
2.
I would like
One day
To see the paintings
Of the playwright
August Strindberg
3.
My mind is an
Inconstant thing
Is it so for you?
Maybe certain
BIG THINGS move
Around more slowly
Like clouds
Like ice floes
But the small
Things like
Writing
Move/Fluctuate quickly
As they are often
Less resilient
To changes in
Mood & personal
Circumstances
I’d vowed last
Night
The whiskey made
Me do it
To do a Rilke
& adopt a different
Mode
But either I’m not
As adept
Or perhaps you
Could just say
We’re different
Animals
& so I write
The way I
Write
& if I get
Repetitive so be
It
One rarely revisits
Something
In the same way
& those returns
May well
Deepen & broaden
One’s positionings
In language
4.
P.S. to Preamble –
I’ve really noticed
Over the last few
Days
End of August start
Of Spring here
The plumage of
The birds
The magpies &
The ducks
Look FRESH!
As if dressed in
New clothes
For the party
Season –
The black &
The white on
The magpies
DAZZLING!
The ducks’ intricate
Patterns STUPENDOUS!
Milan
Eat your
Heart out!
Published & Copyright Malachi Doyle 2023.
Education, The Holy Roman Empire & Alcohol
I don’t have to write poetry
To write
I can just enjoy
The ink on the page
--
Good to be sober
After 3 month’s grief
What started legitimately
Became fear
Fear of what?
No longer of facing death
But of facing life.
--
I don’t owe
Anybody anything
Time to stop
Pleasing acquaintances
& give less
To my friends –
Both my giving
& receiving –
Time to get back
On track
Like those Chinese laundresses
Advised me
20 odd years ago
Giving without
Strategy
Is little different
To taking –
Can an anxiety
Sufferer
Externalize less?
Maybe not –
But who knows
What is possible?
I’ve never lived
Tomorrow before
--
I am tired
Of negative prefixes
How about we
Name what IS
Not what ISN’T
Else we reject
Existence
& reduce it
To waste matter
For instance
People say
“de-clutter”
Rather than
Tidy.
--
I slept poorly last
Night –
Plagued by nightmares
A doctor might
Deduce –
Coming off alcohol
Blah blah…
Anyway,
What captured
My attention
On today’s bushwalk –
Because not much did
I was ‘out of wack’
What held my
Attention
Was a small
Wattle sapling
Lower to the
Ground
It’s innocent
Blossoms ripe
& ultra fresh
But it didn’t
Really return
My attention
Mistrustful of us
People
With our acquisitive
Knowledge & pragmatic
Or just careless
Violence
Or similar
Maybe mistrustful
Of my
Mentally photographing
It for
My later poem
Or just busy
With wattle
Matters
Or was it me
Being mistrustful of
My self –
I had to leave
The bright
Pale fresh
Yellow wonder.
Alone today –
I do time
Today somewhat
It’s all about getting through
The day
Managing my nerves –
The best
I can hope
For
Is what
Mum said
About her last
20 years
With severe chronic
Illness
Was “slivers of
Joy” –
Slivers
,Nevertheless,
Beyond the
Limits of
My person –
It’s seeking
Of pleasure
& avoidance
Of pain –
The Universe
Is truly
Marvellous
Wild & fresh –
Regardless of
Human folly, frailties
& vicissitudes.
--
A bloke I
Met in the
Pub
A couple of
Days ago
Responded
To my Nietzschean
Interestedness
Paired with
My Buddha’s
Non attachment
By saying
If indeed
The self is
Indivisible
From the
Whole
Then both of those
Are illusions –
--
Just watched a
doco
About Dante’s
Divine Comedy
–
Never got
Very far with
The Epic Poem–
Not sure
What the
Catholics
Did
With
“Judge not
Lest ye shall
be judged”?
Or the parable
Of the
Good Samaritan
Two of my
favourite songs
Of the ‘Big J’
Sorry Jesus,
Perhaps overly
Familiar
Ha Ha
Oh God
The Dante
Shit
Has really
messed
My head up –
God helps us
Europe!
Fuck!
I’m not
Going to
Speak for
Jesus
I’ll just say
About all I
can
Grasp
At the moment
Is Otis
Redding’s
“Try
A little
Tenderness”
Please!
People
Love, Mal.
--
Far out
I don’t feel
well
& that
Dante doco
Was the last
thing I needed
It reminded me
Of Honours
Poetics
& why I
Ran screaming
“Get me the
fuck
Out of here!”
English
Literature
Departments –
No offence
Not my bag!
How to kill
Poetry!
Redeemed
In Lewisham
South East London
With the
rappers on the street
& in my
house
&
A bitta
Smoke &
beers
&
Later with
Kev Carmody
Still trying
To recover
My equilibrium
From the 19
year
Vice grip
Of Formal
Education
I don’t know
How many years
It was
But
I still want
to
Shriek &
Scream
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaoaoaoaakaoaoakaoaoaoaoao!!!!!!”
--
Oh…
Orgasm
Profanities
&
Primal screams
&
Fuckin
Rock &
Roll
Bitches!
--
Still
reverberating
With horror
& shudders
UNCONSTRUCT MY
MIND!
Or in the
positive tense
To borrow
From Beefheart
“God, Fuck my
mind
For good!”
Man!!!!!!...
Damn right
I got the
blues
Buddy Guy
RL Burnside!
Onomatopoeia!
Scream!
Whooooooooooooooooooppp!
“Now fix me
A motherfuckin
Drink!”
Note:
I’m having
water
That tastes
like
Wine!
Poor James Joyce!
They fucked
him too!
(see Portrait
of the Artist as a Young Man)!
--
On the Dante
thing –
Not a good
show to watch
If you’re
coming off
Alcohol
Why do you
think
I’ve drank so
much
In my life? –
To escape
For a moment
The
intellectual
Violence
(see
Discipline & Punish – Foucault)
Of my
Western
middle-class
Mind
I have
No idea
How those
Wowser
Teetotalers
Can do it
They must
Like “slash”
agree
With it
“slash”
Ha ha
Get fucked!
Help me!
From the
Tyranny
Of
‘The Straights’ –
We gotta
Tolerate
The Conservatives
While
They demand
We bend
To their rules!
Fuckin
Bullies!
Power Mad!
Avaricious!
& tossers
Like Albo
Who has a video
Of drinking a beer
The expense account
Pays for
Meanwhile
Taxes the shit
Out
Of alcohol
So the average person
Can’t afford
To drink
In public
So one must do so
At home
As if in
Shame
Exactly the same
As the Holy Roman Empire
Demanding
We all feel ashamed
While they
Do whatever
The fuck
Takes
Their fancy.
--
Without Love
Without common decency
Civility
Sympathy
Ethics
& just behaviour:
My vision of God
More equitable distribution
Of wealth
Across the globe –
There is only Power!
--
So your question is:
“Did he drink?”
“Is he an alcoholic?”
& to similar questions –
None of your
Fuckin business! –
My body!
My mind!
My soul!
My heart!
& frankly,
It’s the fuckin
Least of
It!
The End.
Next Poem
On another note
But really
The same point
I haven’t spoken
Enough about
Divide & Conquer
& Divide & Rule
& how Ideology
Seeks to divide
The Polis
Into “Left” vs
“Right”
Like a never ending
Tennis match
The only sport in town
Ever
Forgetting that
Most people
Are really struggling financially
In this
One of the places
With the highest
Material standard
Of living in the world
Of course
None of this matters
Because we’re culturally
& spiritually
Poor
The materialism
We covert
Is causing
Poverty
In all its varieties
Not least of which
Is thought poverty
Anyway,
This is one
Angry place
& the cause
Seems to be
Spiritual & cultural
For people
Who are
99%
Identical
& 99%
Drowning in
Debt
Anyway
It strikes
Me that
My angst
Is adding
More fuel
To the fire
I’m bored basically
But I have
To find
A way to uplift
& cool things
Down
We need A PARTY!
I’m lonely
You’re lonely
We need
To go to a party
& lose ourselves
In a world
Of welcoming strangers
Like a world
Could be
If we
Avowed the
Human family
In short
If everyone
Miraculously
Simultaneously
Got on the One
But it would take
An organic
Shift in
Consciousness
Coz if it’s coerced
It is discipline & punish
--
Hard to have hope
Today
Just gotta keep
Plugging away
Like the humble do
Not what my mum called the (false) “’umble”
What I mean is
Without ego
As they say
Simply “chippin away.”
--
I really
didn’t want to write anything rhetorical –
It was that
fuckin
Dante video
That gave me
The yips.
Fuck anxiety.
That was a
Bad dream
Last night
& it’s
Stuck
To me
I’m at a loss.
Hopefully
Tomorrow’s
A better day
& I can
get
Out of this
Head –
Isolation –
The story
Of the 1st
World
It wants to
Curse the
3rd
World with
--
Under the
guise of
‘Health &
Safety’
When really
It’s all about
Power & Money –
No drinking on
the street
No nightlife
on the street
To quote from
Peter Tosh
“They keep
Humiliating
The Truth”
(Like Jesus
Christ
Carrying his
death tree &
Nailed to that
cross)
Look up
Both!
--
The so called
“mentally ill”
(why the
delineation from any other illness?)
Are trivialized
&
underestimated
When really
It means
That their
minds
Somehow
Live outside
The
Systematics
Of current
thought –
Depending on
the era.
Judge not the
person
Judge their
ideas
No matter he
has shoes on his feet
Or none
Clean pants
Or dirty
Short hair
Or long –
“Can’t judge a
book
By looking at
its cover” –
My favourite
Bo Diddley
song.
--
Part 3
Tired of
rhetoric
Longing for
wonder
But these
mundane days
Set a course
in motion
To whimsy now
Would be
disingenuous
& dishonest
to this hour
Who knows what
tomorrow
Will bring?
What’s written
in the stars?
--
Each morning
Should be
The first
Morning
But the wheels
are already set in motion
& some
wake
In luxury
& some
On the street
Somehow we all
share the same species/genesis
So tell me
Mr Professor
What is Fate?
Would it be
better to be an idiot?
Isn’t that the
pill you’re working on?
(The End)
Published & Copyright Malachi Doyle 2023.
Other Poems:
After the Tsunami
Some of my best writing
Comes when the anxiety
Attack is over –
After the Tsunami
One is left to sleep
& make sacred souvenirs
Remembering another season
Of big wave surfing.
--
According to Peter Ackroyd,
Public clocks
Mandating official time
Were introduced
To British cities & towns
Around the time of the Industrial Revolution –
Separated from human rhythms
This synchronized mechanical time
Became the Ruler
Of the citizens’ days (of labour)
As The State –
A combination of Big Business
& Governments
Imprisoned its citizenry
& onto our current ankle bracelets
That track our every word and movement
Thanks to the Christmas Wish
Of our youth –
The smart phone.
“(hu)Man,” as Rousseau pointed out
“Is born free,
Yet everywhere in chains.”
--
Not only this
In a similar
way
The smart phones
alert us
To what Big
Business
& Governments
Determine to be
The Standardised
‘News & Issues of the Day/hour/minute/second’
& if we
address anything else
We walk the
walk of a madman.
Because the
World’s Minds
Are owned by The
State.
Published & Copyright Malachi Doyle 2023.
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